Parenting Faux Pas

The Tooth Fairy Sleeping on the Job.

The Tooth Fairy Sleeping on the Job.

So the tooth fairy didn’t show up last night.  Can you believe the nerve of that bitch?  If she could have only seen the look of sadness and disappointment on my son’s face.  God, I wanted to strangle her.  Who could do such a horrid thing to an innocent young boy so filled with the anticipation of reaching under his pillow first thing upon awakening, sliding his hand under to grasp that crisp dollar bill, or shiny gold dollar coin, only to come up empty handed?

One can only imagine how he lifted up that pillow, thinking to himself ‘this must be some kind of mistake’, while shaking the pillow several more times to see if the money somehow got caught up the pillow case.  Still empty.  Checking the sheets and duvet, thinking to himself maybe the money was just lost somewhere in his bed.  Nope, not there either.  Dejectedly, he walked down the hallway and into our room.  “Mom?” he shook me awake, eyes cast down, voice soft, “The tooth fairy didn’t come last night.”

Horror, panic, humiliation, settling into my emotional consciousness, and all before my first morning cup of coffee.  Please tell me this is just a nightmare.  Please pinch me so I can wake up and not have to see that look on my son’s face.  I look to my husband with eyes that say, “Didn’t you put the money under his pillow goddamnit?”  To which his eyes responded, “No, I thought you did it!”  Holy crap, how am I going to get out of this one?

‘Think fast!’ I thought to myself.  ‘You have to make this right, you have to make that look on your sons face go away.’  So I jumped out of bed and told my son, “Look, there must be some mistake, wait here, I’ll be right back.”  I ran as fast as I could downstairs to a change jar where I keep the one dollar coins.  I chose this because I never use coins, only dollar bills, and you can’t do a coin trick with a dollar bill now can you?  I ran back up the stairs and called to my son to meet me in his room.

And with all the magic of Santa Claus, I slipped that coin between his mattress and his bed frame, and voila!  Well, his eyes lit up and his mouth gasped in sheer delight, for the tooth fairy hadn’t forsaken him after all.  All was right in the universe again.  That’s the beauty of children.  They want to believe, so they do.  And so did I.

He had his dollar, I had his tooth, and peace of mind that I just avoided one of the biggest parenting faux pas to ever come my way.

My husband looked at me from the doorway and his eyes said “Nice going!”

I smiled back in agreement.  I’m not much of a magician, but if I didn’t make that moment right, I would never have been able to live with myself.  And as for the tooth fairy, well she’s just lucky I didn’t have to strangle her.

The Coal Fairy

The Coal Fairy

From now on when my son loses a tooth, I tell him we have to hang up a sign to remind him to put his tooth under his pillow at night.  Little does he know it’s really just a reminder to that pre-Alzheimer’s tooth fairy to keep her act together.

We’re parents and we’re human, and this was my faux pas.  Care to share yours?

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5 thoughts on “Parenting Faux Pas

  1. Excellent save on your part! Although we never forgot to leave money, on two occasions the tooth fairy apparently came twice, because there was double the usual amount of money. It appears mommy tooth fairy and daddy tooth fairy were not in very good communication. Twice. But our child was more than thrilled.

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