As a critical care nurse I’m always on the move; but that’s nothing compared to being a mother. On the run and always short on time, we moms are a very impatient breed (as I’m sure any of you with children can attest to.) We like fast service, fast food, and fast cash. Having to wait for anything makes us irritable. If we could conduct all of our business through dive thru windows, we would.
When it comes to car maintenance we are no different. In New York we have this place called Jiffy Lube where you can bring your car in for an oil change (or other service issues) and be out in fifteen minutes. This got me thinking about quick service day spas for moms on the run who don’t have the time or the cash to spend whittling the day away in a bathrobe and slippers, sipping on cucumber water.
At Jiffy Lube Day Spa (JLDS), no appointment would be necessary. You just show up, pick your service selection off the menu board, plug-in your time allotment, and get ready for the best fifteen minutes of your life.
I see the JLDS menu board looking something like this:
- High Gloss Polish
Manicure/Pedicure in need of repair
Don’t fall into a deep despair
With our quick drying polish, and pressurized air
You’ll be out in a jiffy
With money to spare.
2. Jiffy Pube
If your hair down below
looks like miracle grow
Try our lube and a wax
From your head to your toe
A fresh trimmed up bush will make you feel flirty
And we’ll have you out in just under thirty.
3. Brow Inspection
Eyebrows a bit like old Ebenezer:
Come in for a five-minute Jiffy Lube Tweezer.
4. Fix a flat Lip Repair
Labium looking a little deflated?
Our quick acting Botox will have you elated.
A couple of sticks with our numbing enzyme,
And your lips will be plumped and looking divine.
5. Body Shop Special
Total body in disrepair?
Experiencing dimpling on your derriere?
A body scrub is what you need.
Our techs will do the job with speed.
With skin so soft and fresh to touch
Your satisfaction guaranteed!
6. Face Wash
Mirror, mirror on the wall,
we can make those large pores small.
Oily skin or flaky mess?
Try our facials,
They’re the best.
Back out of whack?
Try our chiropractic crack.
Guaranteed to get straight
Any stray vertebrate.
When you walk in the door with children in tow,
fear not the receptionists sarcastic glow.
At Jiffy Lube Day Spa, some think we’re deluded,
but care for your children is always included.
Well…one can dream…
3 thoughts on “Jiffy Lube Day Spa”
I want to visit Jiffy Lube Day Spa, it would be just the ticket and I don’t even have children.
Well I’d be happy to go there with you. Too bad it doesn’t exist…yet! Thanks for commenting.
It will exist someday….